We Are Pretending To Be Well

💙 We’re Not Pretending to Be Sick. We’re Pretending to Be Well. 💙

I’m sharing this on behalf of everyone living with chronic illness — those still in the fight and those navigating recovery. Please don’t flood my DMs with prayers. We know about prayers. This isn’t about that. This is about understanding.

Whether you accept it or not, some people live in pain every single day. Not because of anything we’ve done wrong, but simply because illness found us. We love life — that’s why we’re fighting to stay alive.

This post is for those who live with, love, or work alongside people with long-term health conditions: spouses, friends, family members, colleagues. Please, be kind. We are not pretending to be sick. We’re actually pretending to be well.

No one chooses to be at the mercy of others. Most of us were once fiercely independent — strong, capable, driven. Illness brings even the strongest to their knees. I know, because it’s happened to me.

Here’s what we need from you:
📌 Don’t rely on us for your day-to-day living. We already carry a heavy burden. If we offer to help, it’s an act of grace, not a sign of unlimited strength.
📌 Understand our energy limits. We may work like a horse one moment and collapse 30 minutes later. This is called the Spoon Theory — every small task uses up precious energy. Waking up, getting dressed, caring for children, showing up at work — each is a “spoon” spent. By afternoon, we may have nothing left.
📌 Don’t add your problems to ours. Life has already pushed us to the brink.
📌 Check in and ease the burden. A kind word, a small gesture, or just leaving us space when we need it — it all matters.

Living with chronic illness isn’t just a medical challenge; it’s an emotional and social one. Please see the person behind the diagnosis. Be gentle with us. Be kind.

Because on the days we look “fine,” chances are we’re just pretending to be well.